The Dr. House Drinking Game
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House M.D. is indeed one of the best shows on TV. Like many others, I enjoy watching it. And to increase my enjoyment of the show even more, I started a House Drinking Game. With the help of others, inlcuding Jim “Suldog” Sullivan and Digg user toxicredm, I now present:
The Dr. House Drinking Game
- When Gregory House pops a Vicodin, take a drink.
- If he goes the entire episode without popping a Vicodin, take three .
- When someone has a seizure, take a drink.
- When someone goes into cardiac arrest, take a drink.
- When a patient bleeds profusely, take a drink.
- When a patient spews fluid from a body orifice, take a drink.
- When a patient spews blood from a body orifice, take two drinks.
- When a patient doubts House’s diagnosis, take a drink.
- When House’s team disagrees with his diagnosis, take a drink for each member of the team.
- When Cuddy countermands House’s orders, take a drink.
- When House acts against Cuddy or hospital rules, take a drink.
- When House insults one of his clinic patients, take a drink.
- When House talks down to one of the hospital staff, take a drink.
- When House or his team illegally searches someone’s home, take a drink.
- When House and his team performs any medical procedure against the patient’s wishes, take a drink.
- Whenever you find out a patient is fibbing on his medical history, take a drink.
- Whenever House lies in a patient report, take a drink.
- Then, when House tells a patient he’ll die unless he cooperates, take a drink.
- Every time there is sexual tension between two characters, take a drink for every doctor involved. (Borrowed from the Grey’s Anatomy drinking game.)
- Every time House makes an inappropriate sexual comment to Cuddy or Cameron, take a drink.
- Every time House makes an insensitive racial remark to Foreman, take a drink.
- Every time House makes fun of Aussies to Chase, take a drink. (Hey, we can’t leave him out!)
- Whenever someone makes a current-event or pop-culture reference, take a drink. (Borrowed from the Gilmore Girls drinking game.)
- Every time someone has mommy or daddy issues, take a drink.
- Every time it’s not lupus, take a drink.
- If they think it might be cancer, take a drink.
- If they have to choose which tests to do, because they’re out of time or there’s some other restraint, take a drink.
- If they perform every test they can think of on a diagnostic fishing expedition, no matter the cost, take a drink.
I’ve actually tried this game, and it is enough to get you a good buzz watching an average episode of House. In fact, it may be a bit too much. 
-TimK
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October 15th, 2006 at 2:25 am
Every time there is sexual tension between two characters, take a drink for every doctor involved.
Every time Dr. House makes a comment about Dr. Cuddy’s boobs, take a drink.
Every time it’s not lupus, take a drink.
Every time someone has daddy issues, take a drink.
When Gregory House pops a Vicodin, take a drink. If he goes the entire episode without popping Vicodin, take three.
Every time someone makes a current events or pop culture reference, take a drink (e.g. RIAA, Pink Floyd)
October 16th, 2006 at 12:35 pm
Every time House sends one of his staff to inspect a patient’s dwelling place for toxins, take a drink.
Every time House makes an insensitive racial remark to Forman, take a drink.
October 16th, 2006 at 12:36 pm
Well, shoot, you already had the “inspect the patient’s house” thing, didn’t you? Sorry!
October 17th, 2006 at 11:15 pm
Some more good ones. Editing the post…
-TimK
October 18th, 2006 at 11:35 am
Of course, you could also reverse one of them: Every time Dr. House takes a drink, pop a Vicodin.
October 19th, 2006 at 2:12 pm
Ha!
-TimK
January 14th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
When I was in college, we had a drinking game called “Hi Bob”. It was an elegantly simple game, and you played by watching reruns of the old Bob Newhart show.
Every time a character said “Hi Bob”, you had to take a drink. Devastating.
January 14th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
Every time House has a revelation about the diagnosis, chug until the revelation scene is over.
February 12th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
take a drink for every time house bounces a ball against a wall , 2 if he does it lacross style with his cane
February 12th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
every time he writes on the white board
every time they say metacarple
every time he puts his feet up on someone elses desk
every time he steals someone’s food
every time he darts his eyes back and fourth
every time he days “shccccccsh…ouch”
every time house leaves the hospital to think
every time a high wide aerial shot of the hospital is on screen
April 3rd, 2007 at 7:56 am
Every time House says “differential diagnosis people…”.
Every time one of House’s team think its “pereneial plastic syndrome”(sp?).
Every time they think it’s an auto-immune disorder.
April 19th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Drink every time someone performs a lumbar puncture, double if its referred to as an ‘LP’.
Drink if the person who gets sick in the opening scene isn’t who you thought it would be.
September 27th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
You forgot a few:
Take a drink when-
Dr. Wilson psychoanalyzes house.
Dr. Forman suggests the disease is neurological
House lets you know he’s an atheist.
Someone rags on Chase for being young.
Someone tells House he should lay of the vicodin.
Take 4 when -
The patient doesn’t make it.
House shows human compassion.
October 24th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Also:
Take a drink when House uses his cane for something other than walking.
Take a drink when House looks at porn, mentions porn or hookers.
October 26th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Every time they do a Lumbar Puncture take a drink and every time he steals food from wilson take a drink
October 26th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Edit to my last post You Drink twice if he steals food from wilson
November 17th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
[…] TV Dr. drinking game, to add to the Dr. House Drinking Game, and hopefully the second of a long […]
December 3rd, 2007 at 1:29 am
Wow…….Im suprised no one came up with this one yet, but…….I just got wasted by drinking everytime the word infection came up……..try it…..bring lots of beer!!!!!!
March 27th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
[…] Be the Story is the blog of J. Timothy King, a fiction writer who mainly self-publishes e-books. The posts focus on fiction and often cover King’s thoughts on different books and movies. He often posts humorous or light pieces such as The Dr. House Drinking Game. […]