House M.D. is indeed one of the best shows on TV. Like many others, I enjoy watching it. And to increase my enjoyment of the show even more, I started a House Drinking Game. With the help of others, inlcuding Jim “Suldog” Sullivan and Digg user toxicredm, I now present:
The Dr. House Drinking Game
- When Gregory House pops a Vicodin, take a drink.
- If he goes the entire episode without popping a Vicodin, take three .
- When someone has a seizure, take a drink.
- When someone goes into cardiac arrest, take a drink.
- When a patient bleeds profusely, take a drink.
- When a patient spews fluid from a body orifice, take a drink.
- When a patient spews blood from a body orifice, take two drinks.
- When a patient doubts House’s diagnosis, take a drink.
- When House’s team disagrees with his diagnosis, take a drink for each member of the team.
- When Cuddy countermands House’s orders, take a drink.
- When House acts against Cuddy or hospital rules, take a drink.
- When House insults one of his clinic patients, take a drink.
- When House talks down to one of the hospital staff, take a drink.
- When House or his team illegally searches someone’s home, take a drink.
- When House and his team performs any medical procedure against the patient’s wishes, take a drink.
- Whenever you find out a patient is fibbing on his medical history, take a drink.
- Whenever House lies in a patient report, take a drink.
- Then, when House tells a patient he’ll die unless he cooperates, take a drink.
- Every time there is sexual tension between two characters, take a drink for every doctor involved. (Borrowed from the Grey’s Anatomy drinking game.)
- Every time House makes an inappropriate sexual comment to Cuddy or Cameron, take a drink.
- Every time House makes an insensitive racial remark to Foreman, take a drink.
- Every time House makes fun of Aussies to Chase, take a drink. (Hey, we can’t leave him out!)
- Whenever someone makes a current-event or pop-culture reference, take a drink. (Borrowed from the Gilmore Girls drinking game.)
- Every time someone has mommy or daddy issues, take a drink.
- Every time it’s not lupus, take a drink.
- If they think it might be cancer, take a drink.
- If they have to choose which tests to do, because they’re out of time or there’s some other restraint, take a drink.
- If they perform every test they can think of on a diagnostic fishing expedition, no matter the cost, take a drink.
I’ve actually tried this game, and it is enough to get you a good buzz watching an average episode of House. In fact, it may be a bit too much. 
-TimK
21 Comments
Every time there is sexual tension between two characters, take a drink for every doctor involved.
Every time Dr. House makes a comment about Dr. Cuddy’s boobs, take a drink.
Every time it’s not lupus, take a drink.
Every time someone has daddy issues, take a drink.
When Gregory House pops a Vicodin, take a drink. If he goes the entire episode without popping Vicodin, take three.
Every time someone makes a current events or pop culture reference, take a drink (e.g. RIAA, Pink Floyd)
Every time House sends one of his staff to inspect a patient’s dwelling place for toxins, take a drink.
Every time House makes an insensitive racial remark to Forman, take a drink.
Well, shoot, you already had the “inspect the patient’s house” thing, didn’t you? Sorry!
Some more good ones. Editing the post…
-TimK
Of course, you could also reverse one of them: Every time Dr. House takes a drink, pop a Vicodin.
Ha!
-TimK
When I was in college, we had a drinking game called “Hi Bob”. It was an elegantly simple game, and you played by watching reruns of the old Bob Newhart show.
Every time a character said “Hi Bob”, you had to take a drink. Devastating.
Every time House has a revelation about the diagnosis, chug until the revelation scene is over.
take a drink for every time house bounces a ball against a wall , 2 if he does it lacross style with his cane
every time he writes on the white board
every time they say metacarple
every time he puts his feet up on someone elses desk
every time he steals someone’s food
every time he darts his eyes back and fourth
every time he days “shccccccsh…ouch”
every time house leaves the hospital to think
every time a high wide aerial shot of the hospital is on screen
Every time House says “differential diagnosis people…”.
Every time one of House’s team think its “pereneial plastic syndrome”(sp?).
Every time they think it’s an auto-immune disorder.
Drink every time someone performs a lumbar puncture, double if its referred to as an ‘LP’.
Drink if the person who gets sick in the opening scene isn’t who you thought it would be.
You forgot a few:
Take a drink when-
Dr. Wilson psychoanalyzes house.
Dr. Forman suggests the disease is neurological
House lets you know he’s an atheist.
Someone rags on Chase for being young.
Someone tells House he should lay of the vicodin.
Take 4 when -
The patient doesn’t make it.
House shows human compassion.
Also:
Take a drink when House uses his cane for something other than walking.
Take a drink when House looks at porn, mentions porn or hookers.
Every time they do a Lumbar Puncture take a drink and every time he steals food from wilson take a drink
Edit to my last post You Drink twice if he steals food from wilson
Wow…….Im suprised no one came up with this one yet, but…….I just got wasted by drinking everytime the word infection came up……..try it…..bring lots of beer!!!!!!
Everytime someone posits “vasculitis”, take a drink.
Everytime someone posits “sarcoidosis”, take a drink.
Everytime House walks without his cane, unless it’s during the story arc about his condition improving, take a drink.
If the main patient dies, take a drink. If the main patient dies but a life is saved because or despite it, take two drinks. If two lives are lost, even if one is an animal, take 3 drinks. And if an animal dies (or death in implied) as a direct result of treating a patient, and the patient lives, take 4 drinks and you are forbidden from taking any other drinks for the rest of the show.
When House plays piano, take a drink. If the piece is classical, take two drinks. When House plays guitar, take a drink. When he plays air guitar or air keyboards, or uses his cane as a guitar, take two drinks.
When House plays a record on his SOTA turntable, take a drink. Take two if he’s listening on headphones. Take three drinks if he uses a different turntable.
When you hear the words, “Cutthroat Bitch”, take a drink. Take two if you read it on his caller ID.
Take a drink when House blackmails someone. Take two when House gets blackmailed.
Take a drink when you see an MRI machine. Monitors or transparencies don’t count. The patient must be on the MRI table.
Everytime they drill into someone’s skull, take a drink. Take two if the patient remains awake.
Take a drink everytime Dr. Cameron leaves House’s office only to stop at the door and look over her right shoulder with a scowl on her face and then walks out without a word.
Take a drink everytime Cuddy alludes to playing golf.
Everytime they suck out a clot, take a drink.
everytime House makes you laugh, you drink all thats left in your cup
I noticed that this is not the first time you mention the topic. Why have you chosen it again?
Take a drink everytime someone’s heart stops and a drink everytime they use the paddles of them.
Take a drink everytime a baby dies including unborn babies.
Take a drink when someone gets their feelings hurt by House. Insults that have no real affect don’t count.
Take a drink everytime House does something illegal.
Take a drink everytime House gets pissed.
Take a drink everytime someone gets pissed and yells and/or hits House.
Take a drink everytime House thinks the patient is lying.
Take a drink whenever House proves a patient lied.
Take a drink whenever House lies to a patient.
Take a drink whenever House mentions something about Wilson’s ex’s.
Take a drink whenever someone has a seizure.
Take a drink everytime House insults or mocks someones religion, race, weight, height, or sexual preference.
My alltime favorites part of the drinking game is:
Take a drink everytime House pops a vicodine.
Take a vicodine everytime House drinks.
I’ve also seen
Take a vicodine everytime House does.
Let me tell yea I was thinking “Holy shit this game will kill ya!”
lol
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[...] Be the Story is the blog of J. Timothy King, a fiction writer who mainly self-publishes e-books. The posts focus on fiction and often cover King’s thoughts on different books and movies. He often posts humorous or light pieces such as The Dr. House Drinking Game. [...]