Photo © 2009 Arty Smokes CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

I’m trying yet another strategy for these #FridayFlash Favorites. This week, since I had some time to post them and found a number of stories that made the cut, I’ll post a selection from this week along with a few from weeks gone past.

This week, I want to feature a special #FridayFlash, special not because it’s better than the best I’ve read, but special because its author may remove it as soon as she discovers this link. (Monday, I’ll post the tale behind that hubbub, and what it means for the writing experience.) So catch this story now, before it (possibly) disappears forever:

I’m referring to “Too Shiny for a Ladybird” by Rachel Carter, a story about the people we love, who make us who we are.

And on top of that…

7 More #FridayFlash Favorites

(in true random order, using Random.org’s list randomizer)

• “Calling in Well” by Tim VanSant — Not calling in sick, no. Most of us come in sick. Ah, only if we knew what well felt like.

• “Lost Email” by Icy Sedgwick — What happens to emails that don’t make it to their destinations? (Another of Icy’s wonderful character stories.)

• “Evening News” by Stephen Hewitt — If you watch a bird long enough, maybe you can begin to truly understand.

• “Kryptonite” by Chuck Allen — Every superhero has her weakness.

• “Tiger Valentine” by John McDonnell — A sweet, funny love story starring Larry the Alien (from this past Valentine’s Day).

• “The Last Man On Earth” by Mike Jackson — A classic SF idea with a thought-provoking twist.

• “How My Guinea Pig Broke My Washing Machine (A Mostly True Story)” by G. P. Ching — “Keep the guinea pig away from the washing machine.” (Slightly unusual for a #FridayFlash Favorite.)

Note: While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferred flash fiction qualities; your mileage may vary. To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should have a beginning (conflict), a middle (thickening), and an end (resolution). Not necessarily a happy ending (though I do enjoy happy endings), but whatever conflict the story introduces at the beginning, it must resolve at the end. No fair building up suspense and then stopping in the middle of the story, just to avoid figuring out how to save the hero in 1,000 words or less; that’s cheating. The story should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. (And scene divisions stop the flow, which I usually dislike in flash.)

Keep writing!
-TimK

Photo © 2008 Kenna Takahashi CC BY 2.0

Time overdue for another 7 of my favorite flash stories from #FridayFlash. I’m a month behind, but still reading through the short-short stories authors have posted on Twitter each Friday, marked with the tag #FridayFlash.

This past week, running on coffee fumes. I posted a new story, “Perhaps to Dream,” with a woman who faces the difference between the career and what she wanted when she became a career woman. For Read-an-ebook week, I released two new free, short ebooks, small collections of short-short stories: “Pine” and 7 Other Short Romances and “Disorder” and 7 Other Flashes of Character. Download them or read them at my free ebooks page. Also remember, my Love-Idiot book and Ashes of Courage book are discounted on Smashwords for another day; and check out the other books being promoted for Read-an-ebook Week on Smashwords.

Without any further distracting links…

7 More #FridayFlash Favorites

(in no particular order)

• “Boo” by David Robinson — … or “How to Deal with a Ghost.”

• “The Ouija Board of Love” by Eric J. Krause — A slightly corny, but entertaining, romantic story, with a cool twist. Might have been worthy of the Love Boat. (And not meant as an insult.)

• “Lucky Noodle” by G.P. Ching — A stormy story with a nice twist. Eat more noodle soup. Soup is good food, and good for your health, too.

• “A Boy’s Best Friend” by Emma Kerry — A touching story: simple desires, a scruffy pup falls in love with a new boy.

• “The Time Out” by Adam Byatt — Horny parents: definitely a conflict of interest, eh?

• “20:49″ by Anthony Schumacher — A clandestine rendezvous, a squirt of adrenaline, a painful choice.

• “The Blue Versus The Grays” by D. Paul Angel — A little different than I usually post here: an X-Files-ish civil-war story.

Note: While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferred flash fiction qualities; your mileage may vary. To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should have a beginning (conflict), a middle (thickening), and an end (resolution). Not necessarily a happy ending (though I do enjoy happy endings), but whatever conflict the story introduces at the beginning, it must resolve at the end. No fair building up suspense and then stopping in the middle of the story, just to avoid figuring out how to save the hero in 1,000 words or less; that’s cheating. The story should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. (And scene divisions stop the flow, which I usually dislike in flash.)

Till next week, and…

Keep writing!
-TimK

Photo © 2010 Andy Morris CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)

Each Friday, writers post on Twitter a link to a short-short story they’ve written, marked with the tag #FridayFlash. And I (eventually) wrap up my favorites of these into a “FridayFlash Favorites” post.

Recently, I’ve posted two short-short stories:

• “Of Death and Smiles,” about a man who wants to live forever, and it changes his life in a way he never expected;
• “The Woman Who Loved Men,” a twist on a kinda-cool storyline from The Love Boat (which has nothing to do with the novel or films of the same name). — And yes, even The Love Boat had the occasional storyline that I don’t have to feel guilty for enjoying.

I’m up to February 4 in my #FridayFlash reading, and though I continue to fall behind, here are…

7 #FridayFlash Favorites

(in no particular order)

• “Zumba, Meet Depression” by Lou Freshwater — Take heart. You can “make Zumba tapes for home.”

• “Unraveled” by Laurita Miller — The things we do for family.

• “The Zombie Poets” by Trevor Belshaw — A funny twist on the zombi concept. Yes, they really are everywhere, and I wish I could escape them!

• “Safety First” by Rachel Blackbirdsong — And this is why you should not worry. Sufficient is the day for its own trouble.

• “The Ring” by Deanna Schrayer — A very special ring for a very special person.

• “Waiting For Zachary” by Al Bruno III — Is this love? This story will make the skin of your heart crawl.

• “Family Matters” by A.M. Harte — How much does family matter to you? By the way, how much meat is there in Argentina?

Note: While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferred flash fiction qualities; your mileage may vary. To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should have a beginning (conflict), a middle (thickening), and an end (resolution). Not necessarily a happy ending (though I do enjoy happy endings), but whatever conflict the story introduces at the beginning, it must resolve at the end. No fair building up suspense and then stopping in the middle of the story, just to avoid figuring out how to save the hero in 1,000 words or less; that’s cheating. The story should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. (And scene divisions stop the flow, which I usually dislike in flash.)

Till next week, and…

Keep writing!
-TimK

Photo © 2004 Grant Laird Jr CC BY 2.0

Remember these?

Each Friday, writers post on Twitter a link to a short-short story they’ve written, marked with the tag #FridayFlash. And I (eventually) wrap up my favorites of these into a “FridayFlash Favorites” post.

I had begun and fully intended to continue these posts a few months ago, in November. Instead, my summer continued for a couple more months. And I’m just now getting back on track, though the continual, beating snow in these parts has made that process slow and difficult as well.

So now I have quite a backlog of stories to read through. And I am slowly reading through them, or rather drawing on them to fill out what my favorites from more recent stories. Over the past weeks, I’ve hit a dry spell when it comes to stories. I don’t know whether it’s just because I read Talyn and Hawkspar since last year, and maybe they’ve ruined all other stories for me. Or maybe a number of my favorite writers have been taking breaks until recently (which is also true).

In any case, here are 7 of my…

#FridayFlash Favorites (from January 28 and earlier)

• “A Viking In The Kitchen” by John McDonnell — Larry the Alien redecorates Dolores’s kitchen, and oh what posh!

• “Used Brooms” by Eric J. Krause — Wouldn’t life be so much easier if we could just learn to take “Yes” for an answer?

• “Nebi’s Secret” by Gracie Motley — Never assume.

• “Unexpected” by Neil Shurley — Why we befriend other people.

• “Better to Have Loved And Lost” by G.P. Ching — To eternity, and beyond.

• “Hairshirt In Reverse” by Rol Hirst — Sometimes, we hang on to whatever we can for security.

• “A Story worth Telling” by Mandy K James — Pursuing a legacy.

Note: While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferred flash fiction qualities; your mileage may vary. To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should have a beginning (conflict), a middle (thickening), and an end (resolution). Not necessarily a happy ending (though I do enjoy happy endings), but whatever conflict the story introduces at the beginning, it must resolve at the end. No fair building up suspense and then stopping in the middle of the story, just to avoid figuring out how to save the hero in 1,000 words or less; that’s cheating. The story should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. (And scene divisions stop the flow, which I usually dislike in flash.)

Till next week, and…

Keep writing!
-TimK

Photo © 2007 Ambuj Saxena CC 2.0 BY

I thought I’d kick this year’s posting season off (after the summer lull) with a change to my weekly schedule. I’m going to try posting “#FridayFlash Favorites” on Friday, one week after the stories themselves were originally posted. I’m hoping that will give these stories more exposure, especially with the #FridayFlash crowd.

Each Friday, writers post on Twitter a link to a short-short story they’ve written, marked with the tag #FridayFlash.

I myself have been absent through the summer (and into the fall). But I did manage to post one story a couple weeks ago, about a young woman with a painful secret, and about the way our society treats people who have painful secrets, and how we maybe ought to treat them.

Of the rest of the stories that were posted Friday, here are my…

#FridayFlash Favorites (for November 5)

Slim pickin’s this week, so I included a few stories from a few weeks ago, too. In no particular order…

• “Edna Saves The World From An Alien Takeover” by John McDonnell — Another amusing anecdote of Larry the Alien.

• “Charity Case” by Peggy McFarland — Conditional generosity: a truth or an oxymoron?

• “Twitching” by Rol Hirst — Two incompatible perceptions of the world meet each other. Which of the two characters are you?

• “The Art of Blowing Bubbles” by Adam Byatt — You can never blow bubbles when you are angry.

• “Hysterica” by Jason Sullivan — A fantasy about the value of stuff. Stuff will never let you down!

• “Shedding” by Emma Newman — Maybe you don’t actually want to know what your husband is tinkering away with out in the shed.

• “Graveyard Dance” by Gracie Motley — Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels… or witches.

Note: While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferred flash fiction qualities; your mileage may vary. To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should have a beginning (conflict), a middle (thickening), and an end (resolution). Not necessarily a happy ending (though I do enjoy happy endings), but whatever conflict the story introduces at the beginning, it must resolve at the end. No fair building up suspense and then stopping in the middle of the story, just to avoid figuring out how to save the hero in 1,000 words or less; that’s cheating. The story should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. (And scene divisions stop the flow, which I usually dislike in flash.)

Till next week, and…

Keep writing!
-TimK

Photo © 2008 Emanuele Rosso CC 2.0 BY NC ND

Each Friday, writers post on twitter a link to a short-short story they’ve written, marked with the tag #FridayFlash. On August 6, I posted a story about a date gone bad.

Of the rest of the stories that were posted Friday, here are my…

#FridayFlash Favorites for August 6

I found an even 100 stories (including the 80 that made it onto the official #FridayFlash Report for August 6). Of those, here are my 8 favorites, listed with my 3 favorite authors first. (That is, the #FridayFlash authors who have most often appeared in these favorites lists.)

• “Noodle” by Neil Shurley — You can’t escape who you are, and you probably don’t really want to.

• “His Shirt is Orange” by Leah Petersen — I can sympathize. My Little One doesn’t even want to grow up. But no force in the universe can stop her.

• “Quick Draw” by T.S. Bazelli — “The dead ain’t never in a rush.” A story about a life-grizzled woman with a future.

• “Common Ground” by Rachel Carter — Can any two birds as different as a parrot and a swan make a life together?

• “Blood Bound” by G.L. Drummond — Time to take the big risk; you can always choose to regret it later, if you survive.

• “I Baptize Thee” by Dan Haring — (Actually, untitled; but I’m listing it under the title of the painting that inspired it.) A story about anger and remembrance.

• “Road Test” by J.M. Strother — Yeah, I probably wouldn’t have taken it, either.

• “Strippers, Planets, Months and Days” by Susan Cross — Hmm… Maybe “da rulez” are more superstition that we think, eh? Words are cheap, but if you really want to know what someone believes, look at what she does, not at what she says.

Note: To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should have a beginning (conflict), a middle (thickening), and an end (resolution). Not necessarily a happy ending (though I do enjoy happy endings), but whatever conflict the story introduces at the beginning, it must resolve at the end. No fair building up suspense and then stopping in the middle of the story, just so you don’t have to figure out how to save the hero in 1,000 words or less; that’s cheating. The story should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. (And scene divisions stop the flow, which is usually a bad idea in flash.) While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferences; your mileage may vary.

Till next week, and…

Keep writing!
-TimK

Photo © 2007 dasroofless CC 2.0 BY NC ND

Each Friday, writers post on twitter a link to a short-short story they’ve written, marked with the tag #FridayFlash. On July 30, I didn’t post anything for #FridayFlash, because I was still recovering from my life blowing apart (although I did start on a story). Most of my time and mental energy has been taken up with a new software contract I’m on. But I’m hoping to do some serious writing in August.

#FridayFlash Favorites for July 30

There were 111 stories (including the 85 that made it onto the official #FridayFlash Report for July 30). Of all those, here are my 7 favorites, listed in no particular order.

• “Two-Week Notice” by Michelle Frank — What we’re willing to leave, in order to obtain autonomy.

• “Something In The Attic” by Icy Sedgwick — A little girl, an attic, and the quest for forbidden knowledge.

• “Contact” by Neil Shurley — Yeah, when we say “evidence” of alien life, this is what we mean.

• “Why I’m Overweight” by G.P. Ching — We all think our parents are obsolete, and we can’t imagine ever sympathizing with them. It’s part of the curse of youth.

• “To Third” by “soco” — Don’t know why he was “not completely satisfied with it.” I thought he wonderfully told us the story of why humans strive.

• “Goblins” by Monica Marier — Attack of the night faeries; a funny and touching tale.

• “The Kitmvat Ritual” by Lauren Cude — We all need to be part of something bigger than just ourselves.

Note: To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should have a beginning (conflict), a middle (thickening), and an end (resolution). Not necessarily a happy ending (though I do enjoy happy endings), but whatever conflict the story introduces at the beginning, it must resolve at the end. No fair building up suspense and then stopping in the middle of the story, just so you don’t have to figure out how to save the hero in 1,000 words or less; that’s cheating. The story should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. (And scene divisions stop the flow, which is usually a bad idea in flash.) While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferences; your mileage may vary.

Till next week, and…

Keep writing!
-TimK

Photo © 2006 David M* CC 2.0 BY NC

Each Friday, writers post on twitter a link to a short-short story they’ve written, marked with the tag #FridayFlash. On July 23, I didn’t post anything for #FridayFlash, because I was still recovering from my life blowing apart. (I also didn’t post anything today, although I did start on a story.) Most of my time and mental energy has been taken up with a new software contract I’m on. But now that I’m on the ground running on the project, I should have some brain cells free to do some serious writing over the next month.

More immediately, today I sent in my first invoice, and I gotta tell ya, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen that many digits after the dollar sign (except on my credit-card bill). As a thank-you to God and the universe, I’m planning an Internet-wide Monster Book Give-away next month, hundreds of copies of my short memoir Love through the Eyes of an Idiot and From the Ashes of Courage, the first Ardor Point novel. The give-away is still in the initial planning stages, but if you have a blog and you’d like to give away a copy of one of these books, please contact me and let me know, and I’ll add you to the list.

With no further ado: of the #FridayFlash stories that were posted, here are my…

#FridayFlash Favorites for July 23

There were 103 stories (including the 82 that made it onto the official #FridayFlash Report for July 23). Of all those, here are my 8 favorites, listed in no particular order.

• “The Rattle” by Eric J. Krause — How many of our problems are caused by the forces we ourselves let loose?

• “The Problem With Gavin” by Isabel Joely Black — The big bang reloaded.

• “How They Met” by Icy Sedgwick — An exciting story of heroism and salvation.

• “Leap” by Neil Shurley — While I also enjoyed his other story, “Hunger,” “Leap” really got to me. How often does your mind shut down in order to avoid thinking about a subject you find painful? Too often, if you’re anything like me.

• “Transition Village Columbia” by Mike Robertson — Another story about the power of and human need for community.

• “Thanks, You Too” by Orjan Westin — Alternative fiction about the mechanization of society. (Laughs maniacally.)

• “Broken” by Lauren Cude — Lauren is back in this list for the third time. I’ll have to remember this charming and inspiring story, the next time my magic wand breaks.

• “A Lost Weekend (or Something Like)” by Dave Bartlett — Lastly, a humorous lesson in drinking responsibly. (Maybe it’s a good thing that I’m not nor have any desire to be the so-called life of the party.)

Note: To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should have a beginning (conflict), a middle (thickening), and an end (resolution). Not necessarily a happy ending (though I do enjoy happy endings), but whatever conflict the story introduces at the beginning, it must resolve at the end. No fair building up suspense and then stopping in the middle of the story, just so you don’t have to figure out how to save the hero in 1,000 words or less; that’s cheating. The story should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. (And scene divisions stop the flow, which is usually a bad idea in flash.) While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferences; your mileage may vary.

Till next week, and…

Keep writing!
-TimK

Photo © 2009 helix90 CC 2.0 BY NC ND

This is the second post in my getting-caught-up for #FridayFlash Favorites.

Each Friday, writers post on twitter a link to a short-short story they’ve written, marked with the tag #FridayFlash. On July 16, I didn’t post anything for #FridayFlash, because my life was in the midst of blowing apart.

Of the #FridayFlash stories that were posted, here are my…

#FridayFlash Favorites for July 16

There were more stories posted on July 16 than on most weeks, 112 stories (including the 88 that made it onto the official #FridayFlash Report for July 16). Of all those, here are my 8 favorites, listed in no particular order.

• “Lars Rehnquist Is Always Wrong” by David Garrett — This humorous tale reminds me, in a serious way, of the Native American philosophy that we are all a part of the living world around us. Maybe we should all give thanks to the living things who die to give us nourishment.

• “Shiny Snail Trails” by Estrella Azul — A little unusual for my #FridayFlash Favorites: Beautiful imagery and powerful metaphor in this short poem. To quote a song I loved back in the ’90′s, “You can’t really take it back.”

• “Return to Titan” by Kevin Mackey — “… a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done…”

• “Shelter” by Lydia Ondrusek — Never alone? (Astounding piece, one to study. Not sure what it is about it that I love. But I do love it.)

• “Politiks” by Jessica Rosen — In government, even when you win, the innocent lose.

• “Things Disney Didn’t Tell You” by Lynncee Faulk — Just remember, there’s another side to every story.

• “Mr. Luck on a Job” by Katherine Nabity — I’ve been enjoying these “Luck for Hire” vignettes. We think there’s no such thing as luck, but maybe it’s just a matter of perspective.

• “Aunt Agnes” by Kim Batchelor — Well, I for one am sorry i didn’t believe Chicken Little, or Aunt Agnes.

Note: To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should have a beginning (conflict), a middle (thickening), and an end (resolution). Not necessarily a happy ending (though I do enjoy happy endings), but whatever conflict the story introduces at the beginning, it must resolve at the end. No fair building up suspense and then stopping in the middle of the story, just so you don’t have to figure out how to save the hero in 1,000 words or less; that’s cheating. The story should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. (And scene divisions stop the flow, which is usually a bad idea in flash.) While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferences; your mileage may vary.

Till next week, and…

Keep writing!
-TimK

Photo © 2006 Brent Danley CC 2.0 BY NC SA

I missed a couple weeks, because my life exploded. So I’m trying to get back on track, and I’m starting with a #FridayFlash week: 3 posts for the three #FridayFlash Favorites I have due.

Each Friday, writers post on twitter a link to a short-short story they’ve written, marked with the tag #FridayFlash. On July 9, I posted a zombie love story, for the Zombie Luv Flash Fic contest. I wasn’t going to write a story for this contest. But then I was inspired, because I figured out what zombies need—deep down in that soulless psyche—that could make love meaningful for them. And then I was really inspired by something someone said to me, resulting in this story.

On the topic of the Zombie Luv Flash Fic contest—a quick aside—here are my favorite 3 zombie luv stories.

• “Light, After All” by Mark Anthony Crittenden

• “Rose” by Delia

• “Chik-Chik-BLAM: A Headshot Love Story” by Gabriel Gadfly

(And if you compare the winners at Mari’s Randomities, you’ll see why my opinion means so little in the grand scheme of things. To me, these three were clearly the best entries. And although “Rose” ranked highly with the crowd—though not #1—none of the others did.)

Back on topic: of the #FridayFlash stories that were posted (besides my own), here are my…

#FridayFlash Favorites for July 9

There were more stories posted on July 9 than on most weeks, 117 stories (including the 95 that made it onto the official #FridayFlash Report for July 9). Of all those, here are my 12 favorites, listed in no particular order.

• “Seduction” by Neil Shurley — The things a woman has to do to seduce her man…

• “Survivor” by Laura Eno — A fun twist on the insufferable reality show.

• “Peace through Attitude Adjustment” by Karen Schindler — Very short, very funny, and more than a little inspiring. (Uh… Inspiring if you interpret it right. Don’t worry: I’m not psychotic yet.)

• “Pinkerton” by Lesley Wood — The wisdom of a homeless man and a legless flamingo.

• “Good Mothers” by Joanie Rich — Our kids can (and do) usually handle more than we give them credit for. To quote the Hitchhiker’s Guide, “Don’t panic!”

• “Shattered” by Leah Petersen — Laughter, joy, and loneliness and sex and sex and sex and sex… A sign of the times?

• “After Armageddon” by Aislinn O’Connor — A story of community restored.

• “The Guardian” by T.S. Bazelli — Taken for granted: the life of a guardian angel.

• “Memories in a Box” by Wulfie — A dying child connects with the future in this paranormal science-fiction tale.

• “Remembering Stella” by Kemari Howell — A woman deals with the loss of her best friend in this not-preachy-for-a-change homosexual romance.

• “Would you have popped the bubble?” by Lauren Cude — Do wishes on rainbows come true?

• “The Steed and the Page Boy” by Stephen Watkins — A dragon steed must go on after the loss of his master.

Note: To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should have a beginning (conflict), a middle (thickening), and an end (resolution). Not necessarily a happy ending (though I do enjoy happy endings), but whatever conflict the story introduces at the beginning, it must resolve at the end. No fair building up suspense and then stopping in the middle of the story, just so you don’t have to figure out how to save the hero in 1,000 words or less; that’s cheating. The story should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. (And scene divisions stop the flow, which is usually a bad idea in flash.) While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferences; your mileage may vary.

Till next week, and…

Keep writing!
-TimK

Photo © 2007 John Kratz CC 2.0 BY NC SA

Yeah, I was supposed to post this three days ago. If you want to read some of the sordid details of why I’m so behind, you can do so over on my personal blog. Posting is likely to be irregular, unfortunately, over the summer, as I’ve taken a software-development contract, because it’ll be nice to have some significant money saved. Even so, I’m still writing, as regularly as I can, and hopefully this week was an anomaly because of the holiday and the personal disruption that threw my life into a tizzy.

Still, better late than never.

Each Friday, writers post on twitter a link to a short-short story they’ve written, marked with the tag #FridayFlash. This week, I posted an old character sketch from about 6 years ago, Abigail White, inspired by a news story I heard on the radio.

Of the rest of the stories that were posted last Friday, here are my…

#FridayFlash Favorites for July 2

Either there are a lot more stories that meet my overly opinionated standards, or else I’m getting soft. (Probably the latter.) Of 110 stories posted last Friday (including the 89 that made it onto the official #FridayFlash Report for July 2), here are my 17 favorites, listed in no particular order.

• “Rain” by Diandra Linnemann — We all dream of winning the lottery, even if we don’t play it. Be careful what you wish for…

• “Fast Food” by Laura Eno — Took a second look at this quick one-two funny with a cute punchline.

• “Pink Slip” by Elijah Toten — A stark commentary on the purpose of every individual.

• “Crowning Glory” by Jane Travers — I don’t know what happened between them, but hell hath no fury like true love… Superb!

• “Unforgettable” by Icy Sedgwick — Icy’s back to her usual excellence, with a story about a woman who falls in love with a dilapidated ballroom.

• “Finding Comfort” by G. P. Ching — Companionship isn’t always about sex and being in love.

• “Close Encounters with Goldfish” by Alison Wells — A man with a model spaceship, a son, a pair of goldfish, and sometimes we lie to protect others, and sometimes to protect ourselves.

• “Panda Slippers” by David Masters — Hey, maybe I should try this the next time the women in my house are late getting ready for church. Or… maybe not.

• “On The Button” by Rachel Carter — Reminds me of some of the news stories over at @FreeRangeKids. Just a little overprotective, are we?

• “The Crab” by Jen Brubacher — A girl sees her father cook a crab; and then what’s in the chill chest?

• “The Cell” by Denis Vaughan — A woman locked in a cell, learning to take back control of her life.

• “Not Every Victory is Sweet” by Leah Petersen — Leah pulls out another story from her archives, an intense tale of defiance and initiative.

• “Jealousy” by Louise Broadbent — Everyone needs attention, even the not-battered woman, and will do whatever they have to in order to get it.

• “Larry’s New Girlfriend” by John McDonnell — A charming story about an alien who finds love in the strangest way.

• “Judgement Day” by Heather Lloyd — Everyone has to be good at something, and everyone is.

• “Six Minutes” by Maria Kelly — A cherished moment between a mother and daughter, a heart-wrenching story.

• “Gone in 60 Seconds” by Denise Covey — In free-fall at 11,000 feet without a parachute… Yeah, that’s how my week felt, too.

Note: To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should have a beginning (conflict), a middle (thickening), and an end (resolution). Not necessarily a happy ending (though I do enjoy happy endings), but whatever conflict the story introduces at the beginning, it must resolve at the end. No fair building up suspense and then stopping in the middle of the story, just so you don’t have to figure out how to save the hero in 1,000 words or less; that’s cheating. The story should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. (And scene divisions stop the flow, which is usually a bad idea in flash.) While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferences; your mileage may vary.

Till next week, and…

Keep writing!
-TimK

Photo © 2008 deadrobot CC 2.0 BY NC SA

Each Friday, writers post on twitter a link to a short-short story they’ve written, marked with the tag #FridayFlash. This week, I reran a story I had written over a year ago, about a man who learns to find romance. This story breaks 5 of the 10 Flash-fiction rules that I usually follow, but it still works. (Just another demonstration that most rules are best used as tips to serve you, not strictures to bind you.)

Of the rest of the stories that were posted last Friday, here are my…

#FridayFlash Favorites for June 25

Of 109 stories posted Friday (including the 86 that made it onto the official #FridayFlash Report for June 25), here are my 9 favorites, listed in no particular order.

• “The Shades of Chawton” by Jane Travers — An otherworldly empath touches an unusual visitor to her lair. Wonderful imagery, and inventive use of the paranormal.

• “Rescue Missions” by A.M. Harte — Well, this bumbling version of Prince Charming probably got what he deserved. Ha!

• “May I Come In?” by Melissa L. Webb — No, I don’t believe in the Bogeyman, either… I think.

• “I’ll Eat My Gun” by John Wiswell — In the old west, Bad James finds a creative way to perform his end of an extreme bet.

• “Breaking The Girl” by Al Bruno III — Lorelei the sorceress may be beaten and bruised, but she knows something her tormenter doesn’t. He’s such an amateur!

• “Of Nights Then and Now” by Leah Petersen — This week, Leah reruns a piece from a few months ago: When a mother’s little girl grows too big to fit between Mommy and Daddy, what’s a mother to do?

• “Once Upon a Time Everyone Had Bodies” by Lydia Ondrusek — Lydia does it again, this time with a little SF flavor.

• “A Missed Flight” by Leila Vandiver — Not really a character story, but the epilogue (the very last paragraph) makes this story worth reading.

• “Bumwattle’s Bird” by Chris Chartrand — And now for something completely different: an alternative, humorous story, about a mind-bending parrot. Could almost be a Monty Python sketch.

Note: To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should have a beginning (conflict), a middle (thickening), and an end (resolution). Not necessarily a happy ending (though I do enjoy happy endings), but whatever conflict the story introduces at the beginning, it must resolve at the end. No fair building up suspense and then stopping in the middle of the story, just so you don’t have to figure out how to save the hero in 1,000 words or less; that’s cheating. The story should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. (And scene divisions stop the flow, which is usually a bad idea in flash.) While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferences; your mileage may vary.

Till next week, and…

Keep writing!
-TimK

Photo © 2005 Gisela Giardino CC 2.0 BY SA

Each Friday, writers post on twitter a link to a short-short story they’ve written, marked with the tag #FridayFlash. Mine this week I threw together at the last minute… and then I had partied on the weekend and got sick on Monday, so I couldn’t post Monday about the process I used. (Hold on— That didn’t come out quite right. I partied on the weekend, because Father’s Day and my birthday, both on the same day. And I think it was food poisoning that got me sick.) But I have the “How to Write a Character-Driven Flash Story Really Fast” post slated for next Monday (knock on wood).

Of the stories that were posted last Friday, however, here are my…

#FridayFlash Favorites for June 18

Out of 100 stories (of which 78 made it onto the official #FridayFlash Report for June 18), here are my 11 favorites, listed in no particular order.

• “I Will Remember You” by Leah Petersen — Megan makes a heart-wrenching choice. Imagine the forces at work in her life.

• “Idle Life” by Laurita Miller — The isolation of a stay-at-home Mom (or Dad).

• “Office Politics” by Neil Shurley — A humorous scene from the lovelorn. (Boy, she looks hot in that skirt, doesn’t she?)

• “Happily Ever After” by Trisha Castillo — Alone doesn’t necessarily mean lonely.

• “Bedtime Story” by Tim VanSant — What are dragons? And that’s why they tear out people’s hearts.

• “Mirror Mirror” by T. S. Bazelli — A story about choices and realities.

• “Work Ethic” by Lydia Ondrusek — When you let work take over your life, you don’t get to the top by flinching.

• “The Excitable Whipping Boy” by Alan W. Davidson — It could’a been Tom Sawyer (one of my all-time favorite characters). This amusing adventure, however, is one of Simon Cunningham’s.

• “Opportunity” by Katherine Nabity — Grab him by the lock. Quick! Before he escapes!

• “Twelve Items or Less” by Matt Merritt — A delightfully funny display of solidarity against bad manners.

• “Mixed Messages” by Jodi Cleghorn — A girl seeks the meaning of life high in a tree.

Note: To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should have a beginning (conflict), a middle (thickening), and an end (resolution). Not necessarily a happy ending (though I do enjoy happy endings), but whatever conflict the story introduces at the beginning, it must resolve at the end. No fair building up suspense and then stopping in the middle of the story, just so you don’t have to figure out how to save the hero in 1,000 words or less; that’s cheating. The story should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. (And scene divisions stop the flow, which is usually a bad idea in flash.) While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferences; your mileage may vary.

Till next week, and…

Keep writing!
-TimK

I called it “alternative conflict” in Monday’s post, but a better monicker might be “problem-free conflict,” because it pops up over and over again in literature, TV, and film. Usually, it’s used alongside the more traditional character problems.

“But character problems cause conflict,” I hear you objecting. “How can you have conflict without character problems?”

Well, actually, this introduction itself is an example of problem-free conflict. But first, let’s look at a more obvious example.

Mischievous Miscreant

Our story begins as the rising sun beams in on sleeping Dag. He rolls over just long enough to get in one more snore, before his alarm jolts him awake.

“Time to annoy my brother,” Dag says, an evil gleam in his eye.

He reaches for his “365 Ways and Days to Completely, Totally, and Fully Annoy Your Brother” calendar and flips to January 7, today: “Bop your brother till he bleeds.”

“Kooky!” Dag says to himself. “It’s a good thing I got this ’365 Ways and Days to Completely, Totally, and Fully Annoy Your Brother’ calendar. I could never think of this many ways to completely, totally, and fully annoy my brother on my own.” And he sets off to find his brother, and a boxing glove.

You have to get the humor of the Angry Beavers in order to fully appreciate that scene from the episode “Same Time Last Week.” (Yes, Dag and his brother Norb are animated beavers.) My brother and I used to watch them all the time before stupid Spongebob pushed them off the air. But now most of those episodes are available on NetFlix Watch Instantly, and I’ve been having loads of fun getting reacquainted with them.

What struck me most about that scene was that there’s no character problem. Not-a one. This is supposedly one of the no-no’s of storytelling. But the scene works, because Dag’s mischievous plan produces conflict. At least, it does by the definition of conflict I used in Monday’s post:

Conflict is a perception by the reader that compelling change has occurred and will occur.

In this case, Dag has begun going through his “annoy your brother” calendar, something new for this episode, something beyond his normal Daggaliciousness. And we expect both fallout and humor from this mischief. Indeed, we get both. He eventually ends up with a real character problem, but only after the plot has thickened a couple of times.

What’d'ya Mean, You’re Dead?

“Someone was looking at me, a disturbing sensation if you’re dead.”

That’s the first line of Laura Whicomb’s debut novel A Certain Slant of Light. This is what we call “a hook.” But whence comes its power?

We have several things happening, all at once, in this tiny sentence:

1. Someone is staring at the main character.
2. It puts her ill at ease.
3. She’s dead.

The second of these is clearly a traditional conflict. The character has a problem: she is comfortable with the way things are (a need), and this someone is interfering with her status quo (an obstacle). That’s a problem. We expect her to address that conflict, and indeed she does. But first, we have to deal with the other two conflicts posed by this introductory sentence.

I think of them as “What the hell is happening here?!” conflicts. You get one of these for free whenever someone first begins reading your story, because he doesn’t know anything about your story or its world or characters. But this freebie only lasts for a paragraph or two. In that space, you have to give him something more. And one path is to explore related “What the hell is happening here?!” conflicts.

In A Certain Slant of Light, the story has implicitly promised us that we’ll find out who the someone is who is staring at the main character (and why he’s staring).

We also want to know how she can be aware that someone’s staring at her if she’s dead. She’s obviously a ghost. But so what? Why shouldn’t someone see her? (That is, if she’s standing right in front of him?) Don’t people see ghosts?

Note that this sort of conflict drives non-fiction essays— like this very piece you’re reading right now. We usually don’t think of non-fiction as a story, with conflict, thickening, and resolution. But that’s because we usually think in terms of character-problem conflict, and non-fiction usually doesn’t focus on character-problem conflict. Well-written non-fiction, however, does follow the general structure of a story, including using conflict to push the story along.

It Don’t Matter Much to Me

One last quick example. Remember Forrest Gump? Winner of six Academy Awards, including Best Picture— Yeah, that Forrest Gump.

(BTW, at the time of this writing, you can also stream the film via NetFlix Watch Instantly.)

A profound story, but the main character, Forrest, nothing bothers him. Well, almost nothing. He certainly doesn’t get uptight about most of the life-pressures that constantly stress us out. That was, in fact, how the film was marketed back in 1994. Yes, I saw it when it first came out— and some of you may not be old enough to remember the movie trailers: “The world will never seem the same, once you’ve seen it through the eyes of Forrest Gump.”

I don’t want to make it sound like this character doesn’t have needs, because he does, and sometimes he has to strive to meet those needs. But a great number of the problems he faces are not his own.

For example, Forrest runs into his old platoon leader, Lieutenant Dan Taylor, who had lost his legs in Vietnam. Dan immediately tears into Forrest, because stupid Forrest got a medal of honor, while Dan lost both his legs and is now poor and destitute. Forrest—much more of a man than I would be—doesn’t even seem to notice the slight. Instead, he opens up his life to his old friend, and they eventually become partners in a lucrative business.

A number of forces drive this scene. One of them is the promise that the situation will change, either for the worse (if Dan’s raging anger eventually sinks through Forrest’s skull) or for the better (if Forrest’s unconditional affection eventually sinks through Dan’s skull). Neither one of these addresses any problem, but either would have been significant.

As I recall, Forrest Gump is full of story threads like this, where a non-problem drives the story via the promise of a change-to-come.

When this movie first came out, I wanted to write a long, detailed essay exploring its many layers and the many angles from which one could interpret the story. I never did. But if you haven’t seen this classic film, it’s definitely worth renting on DVD. In the meantime…

Keep writing!
-TimK

Photo © 2007 Matthew Sullivan CC 2.0 BY NC

Each Friday, writers post on twitter a link to a short-short story they’ve written, marked with the tag #FridayFlash. Mine this week was an experiment in conflict, a story about a character who thinks she’s dreaming the future. Of the others that were posted, here are my…

#FridayFlash Favorites for June 11

Out of 100 stories posted this week (of which 74 were listed on the #FridayFlash Collector), here are my 9 favorites, listed in no particular order.

• “Poker Face” by Michelle Sussman — A novice player has it out with a nervous redhead. No sense in bankrupting her on the first hand, eh?

• “The Highest Score” by Joanie Rich — What do you do to that annoying nemesis, the one who takes pleasure in demeaning your only accomplishment?

• “Harbingers” by Icy Sedgwick — Icy does it again, with another gripping story. “… I disagreed. Plenty of people have stressful jobs, but they don’t imagine dead bodies.”

• “Hindsight” by Genevieve P. Ching — What if you could meet your future self at a critical juncture in your life? Would you make better choices?

• “After the Quest Is Done” by Stephen Watkins — What if characters in an MMORPG were real people?

• “Theo” by Leah Petersen — Well… If it is a phallic symbol, at least it will have been worth it.

• “Red” by Tessa S. Bazelli — True love, a wolf, a gun, and a magic ring.

• “The Shabby Man” by Alan W. Davidson — Touching story of the business of a shabby man.

• “Gullfoss, The Gold Waterfall” by Aiden Fritz — An unexpected horror-romance. Yes, that really is a body.

Note: To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should have a beginning (conflict), a middle (thickening), and an end (resolution). Not necessarily a happy ending (though I do enjoy happy endings), but whatever conflict the story introduces at the beginning, it must resolve at the end. No fair building up suspense and then stopping in the middle of the story, just so you don’t have to figure out how to save the hero in 1,000 words or less; that’s cheating. The story should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferences; your mileage may vary.

Till next week, and…

Keep writing!
-TimK

Photo © Hugo van Tilborg CC 2.0 BY NC SA

Each Friday, writers post on twitter a link to a short-short story they’ve written, marked with the tag #FridayFlash. I’ve done it before, but last week was the first that I’ve fully participated. That is, I posted my story on the #FridayFlash Collector, I read all the other submissions, and as I went through, I pulled out the ones that particularly impressed me, for this special honor…

#FridayFlash Favorites for June 4

Out of 82 stories posted on the #FridayFlash Collector this week, plus at least 2 not posted on the collector, here are my 7 favorites, listed in no particular order.

Note: To be selected as one of my #FridayFlash Favorites, the post must be a genuine flash story, not a chapter in a longer piece, a series of one-paragraph vignettes, or anything else. It should also be a single scene, because multi-scene flash usually does too much “telling” and doesn’t “show” enough to engage me in the story. While I do browse Twitter for #FridayFlash posts, the best way to get me to read yours—assuming I’ll do this again, which I very much hope to, because I really enjoyed some of the stories posted—is to put it on the #FridayFlash Collector. I judge posted stories according to my own preferences; your mileage may vary.

• Wishmaking by @Anke — Perhaps a better title would have been “You Don’t Want to Wish for That.”
• In The Dark by Olivia Tejeda — A romantic interlude, so realistic that it feels like it could be a part of a memoir.
• The Gift by GP Ching — A story of honey, vinegar, and voodoo.
• Hello My Friend, You Have Won by Gary Corby — A short, funny tale about how to arrange things so that you won’t have to pay off the winner.
• First Day of the Rest of Your Life by Lauren Cude — A little awkward in its style, but a stimulating romantic scenario.
• No Place Like Home by Icy Sedgwick — Nail-biting, seat-gripping, and all about the people: wonderfully done!
• All Grown Up by Walt White — A sad, insightful, moving coming-of-age story: a troubled kid turns over a new leaf and becomes an adult.

-TimK

P.S. Here’s my #FridayFlash story, which I also mentioned in yesterday’s post on writing prompts… my story: The Confidant of Jericho.

Click here and offer Frankie some congratulations for her personal bravery in the face of almost-certain embarrassment.

(I’m going to dwell on it a while, before venturing to post any of my early crap. I don’t know if I have the moral fortitude.)

-TimK

P.S. She’s giving away 6 advance reading copies (in 3 prizes). Enter the giveaway here. (Be sure to read Frankie’s instructions for how to enter!)

A couple weeks ago, the Little One and I finished The Ruby Key, a youth fantasy novel by Holly Lisle. As you can see, we gave our paperback quite a workout; it was brand new when we started. She—that is, the Little One—then collected 10 items from of the story for a “Book Bag,” a show-and-tell project she and her classmates do in school.

(Her 10 items, in the picture from upper-left to lower-right: a dog, a cat, a vial [partially hidden below the yellow plastic container], a red key [inside the yellow plastic container], a walking stick, the moon, a bell, a giant worm with sharp teeth, a boot, a backpack.)

The Little One’s classmates enjoyed her presentation, and one even asked to borrow the book. But apparently, she didn’t make it very far through. In any case, here are our online reviews of The Ruby Key.

(See especially the Little One’s review, which proves that, yes, I am really smarter than a 5′th grader!)

-TimK

My Review

Holly portrays wonderful characters, led along an exciting adventure, in a vibrant fantasy world. All of this is the excellence you’d expect from Holly Lisle. ‘Nuff said.

BUT…

Genna, the narrator and main character of the story, was more clueless than I would have liked… and more shallow than any of Holly’s other characters. I’m not sure what happened here, but at certain critical junctures in the story, I found myself wondering how Genna would react, even though I felt I should have known. Yes, I knew she would step up to the plate and do “the right thing,” because that’s what fantasy heroines do. But I felt as though I didn’t truly understand what was happening inside Genna’s heart and mind. I really didn’t feel I knew who Genna was, except that she felt confused and incompetent and little, until it was time to do “the right thing,” when she acted blindly (sometimes on misinformation) so that everything could just happen to turn out okay.

But what was Genna’s struggle in all this? And how did she grow? I don’t know. Or rather, I could more easily get inside the heads of the other characters, even though Genna’s were the thoughts on the page.

That’s not to say that I had no sympathy for Genna. I had lots of sympathy, and maybe that’s all that Holly (or her editor?) was trying to accomplish with the character: lots of sympathy, but make Genna the “every American girl” character, full of self-doubt, but with little personality of her very own, ready to be filled with the identity of whomever is reading the story… I doubt it.

I do not say this lightly. In fact, I say it with great personal burden, because I adore Holly’s writing, every story of hers I have ever read. I also feel I owe a great personal debt to Holly, because her writing and instruction helped me find myself as a writer. (But that’s a story for a different post.)

Fortunately, the remaining characters, as well as the other elements of the story, more than made up for Genna’s weaknesses. The cat, in particular, intrigued me and kept me on my toes. Even Danrith, I saw the growth in his character, and his journey made me feel accomplishment.

I do plan to read the second book in the series, which says more about how much liked the book than a thousand words could. As a counter-example, I never read the second book in Philip Pullman’s famed series, because the first let me down. Holly Lisle’s first book, however, did not me down. So that should give you a clue as to how strongly I liked it.

5 stars

The Little One’s Review

(BTW, she’s 10 years old, in 5′th grade. -TimK)

It was totally fantasy and adventure. And the way Holly Lisle described the action sequences, I could see everything that was happening in my head.

BUT…

She used a lot of words I didn’t understand, but my dad explained them to me.

I’m already looking forward to reading the next book in the series.

(In fact, as of the time this review is being posted, the Little One has already begun reading The Silver Door. She reads it in school during the day, and I find that I now have a hundred or so pages of catch-up to do. -TimK)

4½ stars.

In summary

The Ruby Key is a full-length juvenile fantasy novel, suitable for the high side of the age range, but well within reach even of a 9- or 10-year-old, especially with Mom or Dad’s help. We both heartily recommend it.

Doesn’t matter, as this post’s subject is a fictional story, “Ilker Drennan” by Donna Gagnon, posted recently at Every Day Fiction. This is a story about a depressed widow who is just barely making ends meet.

I’m doing this post in a new format, an experiment. We’ll see how much I like it and whether I do it again. Every other week (at least that’s the plan), I’ll post a link to an online story. Then I’ll give a free, unsolicited mini-critique. Why? Because I used to critique stories on the online forums, but I got tired of people asking for my free advice and then promptly ignoring it. (I’m not upset with them, because I used to ignore their advice about my stories, too.) But at least this way, when they ignore it, at least I’ll be expecting it.

So click here to read Donna’s story. And then you can check out my comments below.

This is one of those literary pieces that tries so hard to paint a picture, it forgets that literary fiction can tell stories, too. Think about it. The main character, Theresa, has two major problems going against her: her beloved husband died some months before, and she’s still depressed because of it; she’s just barely making ends meet. As the piece is currently written, you have to dig for the story before you really understand Theresa’s plight.

Yeah, I know: that’s the beauty of a literary piece, right? Wrong. The best literary works affect you at an emotional as well as an intellectual level. You should never have to dig for the story, because that’s the part that hits you emotionally. You should only have to dig for the meaning behind the story.

This story could make more of Theresa’s two problems right from the first paragraph. In the first sentence, in fact. Try starting the paragraph by highlighting Theresa’s problems: “Everything around here has gone to crap and back, Theresa thought.” Then talk about the rusted mailbox, the CoC magazines, the electricity bill, and the two packages: the CD she had bought off eBay, and a mystery package addressed to her dead husband (the one that contains the video).

In order to create the most bang per word, the story should then build intensity one step at a time. After mentioning each of these items, talk about how it makes Theresa feel, what she thinks about, and how she responds to those thoughts and feelings. The rusted mailbox is what makes her think that everything has gone to crap. The magazines she’d probably notice next, and they would probably remind her of her husband’s failed art business. When she first sees the electricity bill, she’ll want to pretend it’s not there, because she knows what to expect.

(The paragraph when she finally opens the bill, that paragraph is close to what I’m talking about, because it talks about how she feels and what she thinks the implications are. Except that she then throws the magazines into the fire—why? That action is disconnected from what she was thinking about, her electricity bill. Is there a missing sentence, something about her turning down the heat to use less power?)

What about the package with the CD she won off of eBay? This is mentioned in the first paragraph, but never again the story. That’s like revealing that there’s a gun hidden in the living-room end table, but no one ever picks it up or points it—or even pays it any notice. Similarly with the son, who is mentioned only in passing. But why doesn’t he visit her more often? Why doesn’t he help her out? What does she think of his lack of involvement in her situation?

And the package addressed to her dead husband ought to evoke a whole slew of emotions and memories, and she has to deal with all of them. The statue of the eagle would work well in that part of the story.

-TimK

Today, I’d like to start with a short story, posted by Dean Murray on his online fiction site: “Absense,” a story of romance between friends. It starts a little slow, but it ends with a heart-wrenching vividness. The story is about a girl who finds herself falling in love with a boy friend, pained as she feels the friendship slipping away because of changing circumstances.

Of course, maybe this story means something to me because I myself once had my heart broken when I fell in love with a friend. (But read Dean’s story first.)

What do you think of these stories?

-TimK