As you know, I adore Gilmore Girls. Actually, I’m on the verge of creepy fanaticism. So I think I’ll resolve the April-Lorelai thing.

If you remember Frasier, in one episode, Frasier loses a tape of one of the back-episodes of his radio show. He puts out a call to listeners for a replacement copy, if anyone happens to have one. A listener does have a copy, and Frasier and Niles visit the man’s apartment to pick up the tape. They pull back a curtain, which they think is covering a picture window, and they uncover instead a shrine to the star radio shrink. This guy not only has all of Frasier’s shows on tape, he collects every piece of memorabilia he can get, transcribes all the shows, and even quit his job in order to spend more time with his obsession.

I haven’t quit my job and don’t have much memorabilia. But sometimes I feel like everything valuable I’ve learned about storytelling I’ve learned from Gilmore Girls. I can’t stop watching back-episodes. I could go on for hours talking about the show. I literally feel a tense excitement in my gut just thinking about the sixth season being released on DVD. I once dreamed I was on a date with Lorelai Gilmore. She said something demeaning about her mother Emily, and I pointed out that she inherited the same counter-productive behaviors, after which our date was over. Oh well.

So in honor of Gilmore Girls, here’s how I’d love the current conflict involving Lorelai and April to escalate. I haven’t been talking with Amy Sherman-Palladino. And I doubt that this is how things actually will happen. And if they do, Amy Sherman-Palladino did not rip me off, nor do I care. I can think of several good ways for the story to proceed, but this is one of my favorites.

First, the back-story: Lorelai and Luke are engaged to be married. April is Luke’s daughter by an old girlfriend, which he just found out about recently. Luke has been spending time with April, but wants to do so without Lorelai. Lorelai tells him she understands, but we can all tell it really bugs her. So, what might happen next?

Something happens in Lorelai’s life which pushes her to the limit. Maybe Rory gets back together with Logan. Rory didn’t bother to tell her mother any of what was happening in this relationship. Then Lorelai finds out from Paris that Rory broke up with Logan, moved back in with Paris, got back together with Logan, and now is moving back in with him.

Later, Babette tells Lorelai about something April said to her, and that the girl is “one sharp little tack.”

And so forth…

-TimK